From Me In Rain & Other Poems
“Put out the lamp/ Let only the cigarette burn the night’s coldness/ Spill the wine out the window to the night/ Let the darkness get drunk/ To vomit out another dawn/ A daybreak when perhaps there will be news.” Dr. Liu Xiaobo and Liu Xia, husband and wife, writers and activists, were imprisoned, put under house arrest, and separated by the Chinese authorities as a consequence of their struggle for human rights. Deprived of social contact and community interaction, the couple had nothing left to do but imagine a life beyond confinement.
By Liu Xiaobo and Liu Xia with Independent Chinese PEN Center
Photo: Valentin Müller/Unsplash
Liu Xiaobo’s Poetry:
From Me in Rain
- To Xia
It rains
A drop passes through the sun
I was pushed to the edge of the world
I have to be in shock incessantly
And in obedience reluctantly
The raindrop is not cruel
But its gentleness is full of danger
Alone in nudity
I am the only one naked in the rain
The tints in rain are puzzling
All the umbrellas seem to weakly scream
Disappearing in the rain-soaked time
What I hope for
Is to collapse in rain
And that my thin body
Will leave before the rising sun
I am afraid of every kind of quiet change
And even less capable of bearing
Any feat as a hero
Trying to arouse God's attention
Is self-maltreatment through wishful thinking
I who have no wisdom to commit blasphemy
Can only light a cigarette
1991.7.30
Aloneness in Winter
- To Xia
Aloneness during a winter night
Like the blue background on the screen
Simple as everything at a glance but nothing at all
You may consider me as a cigarette, then,
To light and put out at any time
Smoking and smoking, but never ending
A pair of bare feet is stepping on the snow
Like a piece of ice falling into a wine bowl
Drunkenness and madness
Are the drooping wings of a crow
Beneath the endless shroud of earth
Black flame cries out involuntarily
The pen in my hand has suddenly snapped
Sharp wind is piercing the sky
Stars are fragmented into an adventure, my dream
The incantation drips blood into verse
The tenderness of skin still remains
A kind of brightness returns to you
Aloneness, clear
Is standing, weeping on a cold night
And touching the marrow of snow
While I
Am not a cigarette nor wine nor pen
But an old book
Similar to
"Wuthering Heights" where poisoned teeth grow
1995.1.1
Night and Dawn
- To Little Xia
When falling asleep alone the night
Is extremely cold
The lonely star before dawn looks even more ruthless
Despite the orange bedside light
The cold darkness still
Mercilessly
Swallows all of you
Facing the lamp, you are talking to yourself
And shedding tears while stroking shadows on the wall
At this moment, you should light a cigarette
Or pour yourself a glass of wine
To drunkenly pursue that
Missing person whose whereabouts are unknown
Or who may have been engulfed by deeper darkness
Put out the lamp
Let only the cigarette burn the night’s coldness
Spill the wine out the window to the night
Let the darkness get drunk
To vomit out another dawn
A daybreak when perhaps there will be news
1996.11.11
The Cliff
- To my wife
I was forced to mount a cliff somewhere
While a sharp rock embedded into my skin
An order commanding me to stand and shout
And issue an ultimatum to the world
I could stand but not shout
Or I could shout but not stand
My straight body could only be rigid
While my crazy shout could only be bent
The steepness and sharpness of the abyss
Did not allow straightness to challenge them
The limits of the body could only choose between two ways
But the absolute order demanded both
To choose is a hopeless struggle
Either to stand straight shouting and being crushed to pieces
Or to bend my knees to the abyss
While the huge sky has pressed down
1996.12.15
To My Wife
As if the cold and indifferent moon
Is hanging high over my head
The flashing arrogance is looking down
To suffocate me
Its background is as deep and mysterious
As ghosts vomited from a grave
I am presenting holiness and purity
In exchange for being close to you in a dream
Not seeking for burning skin
But dyeing my eyes with a layer of cold ice
To see the sky-fire dying in its paleness
The sky’s grief is too vast and bare
For the eyes of my soul to see through
Give me a drop of rain
To polish the concrete floor
Give me a ray of light
To show the lightning’s question
One word from you
Can open this door
To let the night go home
1997.1.31
Liu Xia’s Poem
Untitled
- To Xiaobo
You speak you speak you speak the truth
You are talking day and night as long as you are awake
You talk and talk
You are in a closed room while your voice breaks out to spread
The death from twenty years ago has come back again
Come and gone as the time
You are short of many things but with you are the souls of the dead
You have lost daily life to join the outcry of the dead
There is no response and none
You speak you speak you speak the truth
You are talking day and night as long as you are awake
You talk and talk
You are in a closed room while your voice breaks out to spread
The wound from twenty years ago has been bleeding
Fresh and red as the life
You are fond of many things but more passionate accompanying the souls of the dead
You have made a promise to seek the truth with them
On the way there is no light and none
You speak you speak you speak the truth
You are talking day and night as long as you are awake
You talk and talk
You are in a closed room while your voice breaks out to spread
The gunfire of twenty years ago has decided your life
Always living in death
You are in love with your wife but more proud of the dark time with her you spent
You let her be but are more insistent that she continues to write you poems after her death
In the verses there is no sound and none
2009.9.4
(Translated by Yu ZHANG)
Photo: Jan-WillemUnsplash